(*update: read this great article for more context*)
On every major news network over the past few days, the eight most powerful leaders of the world were hilariously dwarfed by America's favorite spoiled brat: socialite Paris Hilton, owner of the phrase "that's hot" and a whole bunch of other things you'll never afford.
Just four months after the media circus that surrounded Anna Nicole Smith's surprising death took hostage of people's TV's, the latest Hollywood scandal and its loyal set of reporters takes the cake. (I just keep picturing Serious CNN Reporter asking Star Magazine Paparazzi for tips on how to best cover the story.) People will remember LA's flip flopping on Paris' jail sentence decades to come. They'll forget about the G8 summit and the entertaining police v. protester boat race it inspired tomorrow. If they haven't already.
I wonder if Lindsay Lohan is upset that the spotlight, previously infatuated with her (and her crotch), has now given its full attention to one of her apparent rivals? Maybe Lohan will pummel her car into another curb to get attention.
Paris, whose golden tan is about to say "bye bye," traded in her runway model smirk for tears as she was dramatically hauled back to jail yesterday afternoon. Even Paris' toughest critics felt a little sorry for her -- no one deserves to get stuck in the middle of a bizarre battle between a sneaky sheriff and stubborn judge. Though getting mocked by Sarah Silverman on live TV at the MTV Movie Awards is way worse!
But what was this seemingly contrived battle really about? Talking heads are quick to point the finger at the sheriff, a man either charmed or bribed by his celebrity prisoner, and admire the judge for a refreshingly fair ruling that was almost unduly undermined.
Most spectators are just stuck on what they would do if put in the judge's shoes. "If it was my courtroom, blah blah blah." Well, it's not your courtroom! Did you graduate from law school? Did you get elected by the people to be a judge? If you answered "no"... shut the fuck up!
The logic usually goes like this: "Paris needs to learn a lesson. She'll learn it in jail." You should have heard the darling of Fox News, Sean Hannity, and his bloviations on the subject, which he shared on both his radio and television shows. He said the phrase "she thumbed her nose at the law" at least twice! Anyways, according to Hannity, Paris needs to take a deep look into her soul and find religion or something like that.
Is this a legal opinion? No, not at all. I'm sure we'd all be better people if we spent 20 odd days in a tiny jail cell without the usual comforts. Can you drink coffee there? They'd have to put me in caffeine detox.
Even if we got ass raped, or shot in the head for knowing a little too much about a fellow prisoner's innocence, or had to crawl through a river of shit, we'd probably be better human beings for it. Unless we ended up dead of course. Going to prison is a character building experience! Morgan Freeman told me so, in a very convincing tone of voice.
Alas, the logic for her prison stay should depend on the answers to the following questions:
1. Was Paris' original sentence typical? (No! It was EXCESSIVE.)
2. Was it a typical practice for the sheriff to do what he did? (YES. The jail was overcrowded and 90% of its inmates are felons, says the sheriff. Paris doesn't belong there! If she was any less famous, she'd be back at home, happy as a dog -- who cares if they justified her release with a medical condition?)
This is what the real debate is. It's not a black vs. white, rich vs. poor debate -- at least not with the popular spin that's been thrown on it. What happened was the judge tried to make an example of her because her profile is as high as that college roommate who almost got you in trouble because they kept smoking inside the dorm room.
You can agree or disagree with the laws and the way the sheriff and the judge handled them, but Paris shouldn't go to jail because you think she needs to learn a lesson. You know you love to hear about Paris' most recent tabloid story, and if you want her to go to jail, that's just because it's a great story!
Hey, it's fun to make fun of celebrities. But it's not fun to put them in jail because they annoy us.
9 comments:
That was nicely written, Laura.
1. Her sentence was excessive, but well within the constraints of the law. Perhaps asking if it is "typical" isn't even the right question to be asking?
2. Yes, the sheriff has the right to release inmates due to overcrowding, but not if the judge expressly states for him not to do so in a particular case i.e., this one.
You're right, it's wrong to put a celebrity in jail because they are annoying! But I really don't think that's what the judge did here, and he's the only one who has the jurisdiction to do this. (I'm pretty sure you meant this metaphorically, though.)
You mentioned that people who don't have a law degree should shut the fuck up -- do you have one?
Drunk drivers KILL people, and I'm glad he threw the book at her, and I hope people start learning from her example.
See, here's the thing, this entry isn't about what's fair -- if the judge was right or not. The issue is was she given favorable treatment? No, she was not. I'm not saying what I think her sentence should be! Because no, I don't know what the specific laws and penalties are regarding drunk driving. That's a whole other debate. Only thing I'm expressing here is how ludicrous it is to say she was given special treatment and how I think it's amazing that regular folks keep saying she should go to jail, on the basis of mostly just disliking her!
Anyways, I really appreciate the comment. :)
Laura:
You're most welcome! Hope I didn't come across as bitchy or anything -- perhaps I just missed your thesis.
;)
No, you didn't come off bitchy at all. :)
This blog is so much better than Perez Hilton. You should also join up with www.lost.eu/511a1
I wanted her to go to the dungeon 1) because she is a drunk driver and we all know how bad that is. I agree that we wanted her go to jail because she is annoying but some people are annoyed that people like her take advantage of a blessing and turn it into a comedia buffoni of sorts. If that were you or I, we woulda been screwed, and while some would like to think that she is better than us she's not and just like us she should pay;
But, see, there's the rub. If she was just like us, she wouldn't be in jail right now. :)
LA Times article which suggest that Paris' will serve more time than 80 per cent of people sent to jail for similar offense:
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-me-paris15jun15,0,863712.story?coll=la-home-center
I agree with toy laura...people want to see her suffer just because they don't like her.
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